Words of Wisdom: Unique Holiday Shopping in Mill Valley

{vintage cookbook wreath from Tyler Florence Shop, Mill Valley}

Holiday shopping can seem a little stressful and daunting for some, especially if it evokes images of crowded malls and busy parking lots. I wanted to share my recommendations for a perfectly delightful day of gift-buying, one that will leave you with a smile on your face and charming little trinkets to present to your family and friends. 

For fun and unique items discovered off-the-beaten path, I highly recommend heading to one of my favorite little Bay Area towns, Mill Valley. The downtown area is filled with wonderful small businesses, and I always love supporting local purveyors this time of year. Street parking is easy (and it's free for the holiday season!).  Take in the fresh air and enjoy the holiday decorations as you stroll the streets and peruse the quant shops in the area. Here are some of my must-stops:

Summer House & Summer House 57 

{Summer House ~ 27 Throckmorton Avenue.
Summer House 57, the newer furniture shop ~ 57 Throckmorton} 

Great eclectic things for the home including unique antiques, cozy linens, scarfs from Europe, great furniture and pottery from Soule Studio in Petaluma (that I happen to use every day and love it).

Moss & Daughters 

{Two El Paseo Lane} 

Opening this week, Moss and Daughters looks to be the perfect stop for a hostess gift this holiday season. The shop carries an assortment of house plants, orchids, wreaths, as well as charming antiques.

Moss & Moss

{One El Paseo Lane}   

This little antique shop has wonderful gifts, statement pieces, books, and home & garden items...and on Friday nights proprietor Larry Moss treats shoppers to wine and live piano music on the shop's baby grand.

Tyler Florence Shop 

{59 Throckmorton}
One of the best kitchen stores out there, this shop goes way beyond the typical. For food lovers in your life, a stop here is a MUST. They have some of the most beautiful and creative gift baskets I've ever seen - throw in some of Tyler's own products like cookbooks, cutlery, tasty sauces and spice rubs.

Maison Reve

{108 Throckmorton Avenue}
Lovely home and garden shop with French roots, the owner Yasmine fills the shop with treasures and fun things for gifts of all ages.









Once you've collected all your treasures, pop into the bar at El Paseo for a bottle of champagne and the restaurant's new caviar service...after all, you deserve a little treat yourself.

As Seen In: Martha Stewart Weddings

I was honored and excited when the ladies at Martha Stewart Weddings asked me to contribute to the Expert Advice feature on The Bride's Guide. Rehearsal dinners are such a fun way to kick off the wedding weekend, but planning one can raise a lot of questions. From the guest list to making it memorable, here are my tips for hosting this special night.

Words of Wisdom: Wine + Specialty Cocktails

One of the easiest ways to personalize an event is with wine and specialty cocktails. A signature drink, a fun garnish, and a custom cocktail napkin are all you need to kick off the evening on a great note. Below are some ideas and suggestions for outfitting your bar for any party. Photo by Thayer Allyson Gowdy.

* If your budget allows, I always prefer to offer a full bar. The less you have to say "no" to your guests the better - after all, they are your guests. On the bar, I like to preselect everything from the hard alcohols to the wines right on down to the juices and sodas being served. I typically like to select a high quality vodka, gin, whiskey and scotch for a basic bar.  There are lots of things to add on like tequila, rum, etc. but those aren't necessary. I love to serve what the client likes too if there are specific drinks or beers or wines they love, it is a way to make the event feel more personal and less generic. 

* During cocktail hour, I like to offer a food-friendly white wine, like Sauvignon Blanc, and a lighter red wine at the bar.  Save wines with bigger, bolder profiles for pairing with dinner courses.

* Mix up specialty cocktails to coordinate with the look and feel of the event. Then, create a custom bar menu to frame and place on each bar.

* On a warm day, it is always nice to greet guests with a non-alcoholic beverage before the wedding ceremony.  One of my favorite go-to drinks is lavender lemonade with a lavender sprig garnish or Paula LeDuc's famous minted ice tea. So refreshing!

* Have your caterer place only one type of beverage per tray when tray passing during cocktails. Trust me - this makes for a much cleaner visual presentation. And anyone who knows me, knows this is my biggest pet peeve! (Psst - same goes for hors d'oeuvres!) 

* I'm obsessed with this next tip - Just Married wine from the incredible Swanson Vineyards is the perfect wine for your wedding dinner or bar. The wine is super delicious, reasonably priced at $25 per bottle and is the ultimate conversation piece. Sure to get your nearest and dearest talking! Rumor has it - a white version is on its way soon!

*Bring in your own celebrity mixologist for your party.  A mixologist can really customize the perfect libations for your event.  In the SF Bay Area, Rye on the Road makes an amazing addition to any event's cocktail hour.

* Don't forget the little extras! Nice cocktail napkins that are custom printed or even linen hemstitch make a huge difference. Or try a fun straw or stir stick which are festive and add a lot of personality to the drink.

Words of Wisdom: Selecting a Destination Wedding Location

With wedding guests scattered all over the globe, it’s no wonder destination weddings have grown in popularity over the last few years. When nearly everyone on the couple’s list is making travel arrangements for the wedding, often including the bride and groom themselves, suddenly the opportunities expand to include any gorgeous location they can see themselves getting married.

I personally love destination weddings. There is nothing quite like sharing an incredibly special moment with your closest friends and family in a beautiful location. The intimacy and camaraderie among the guests is truly magical, not to mention the all out fun that comes with being on vacation. I've planned countless destination weddings and events, and each one adds new excitement and challenges to my job (and anyone who knows me knows I love a challenge).

While a destination wedding is seemingly the laid back way to go, there is a whole set of considerations and etiquette guidelines that come with planning a wedding from afar. Here’s some advice on selecting a location for those who are considering taking the leap.

Top Ten Things to Consider When Selecting Your Destination Wedding Location

1. Though you may expect a smaller group to attend, always start with a complete guest list. This is a must, so you can determine with certainty that the venues for the ceremony and reception are large enough for all of your friends and family.

2. Check into the range of guest accommodations. It's a lot to ask your guests to travel and take time off work, then on top of it pay for a costly hotel room. In a destination setting, it’s best to keep your group together. Finding a resort with a reasonable range of rates that can accommodate everyone is ideal. It not, search for nearby low to mid-price hotel options in addition to a luxury hotel. Be sure to review the room block policies carefully - you don’t want to get stuck with guarantees or minimums you aren't able to fill.

3.  Think about elderly guests and how the travel and/or venue will affect them. Factors like very warm climates and hard to reach locations can be prohibitive for some elderly guests.

4.  Make sure you love (and I mean love!) the ceremony and reception venues. If you love those, the rehearsal dinner and/or brunch venue will fall into place. I promise.

5.  Be sure you have total confidence in the venue representative and caterer.  The wedding caterer is the most important vendor - they provide all of the service for your wedding and will interact with your guests the more than any other vendor.

6. Explore what your guests will be able to do in the area. Is there enough around to keep them entertained during the down times? If not, you may want to consider planning fun day trips (like a hike) or other activities for your guests.

7.  Consider airfare costs and travel times for most of your guests. The further from home and more costly the destination, the smaller group you may have.

8.  Do a preliminary review of local vendors (music, photographers, flowers, lighting, rentals, transportation, cake, hair and make up, video). See if you like their work or if you will need to "import" a vendor from your area.

9.  Research marriage requirements. If you're planning on getting married outside the country, be advised that marriage requirements vary and can include waiting periods. You will want to factor that into your planning timeline.

10. Consider hiring a planner, and this isn’t just because I happen to be one. Destination weddings require insight and impeccable planning. Most resorts offer planning services, but be advised those planners can be limited in scope. If you want someone to take you through every detail, you should consider an independent planner with an expertise in planning destination weddings.

Some of my favorite destination wedding locations are right here in the United States, making things logistically simpler for the bride, groom and their attendees.

The Breakers, Palm Beach Florida – this spectacular Italian-Renaissance hotel overlooking the ocean is just magnificent. Brides who want a regal and formal affair even in a seaside location will no doubt be blown away by the Breakers old world glamour.

The Carneros Inn, Napa California - just a short drive from the Bay Area, wine country is also a coveted wedding destination for brides all over the world. Carneros Inn juxtaposes pastoral barns and silos with sleek modern interiors for a California cool atmosphere.

Blackberry Farm, Walland Tennessee - nestled in the foothills of the Great Smoky Mountains, it doesn’t get more charming than this luxurious resort. The world-renown cuisine is an epicurean couple’s dream.

Four Seasons Hualalai, Kona Hawaii – World-class golf, holistic spa treatments, beautiful beaches and outstanding service make this resort a perfect choice for pleasing everyone on your list. Kona also boast the best wedding weather (as in, the driest) in all of Hawaii. 

The Inn at Palmetto Bluff, Bluffton South Carolina – Grace and hospitality abound at this South Carolina resort. Wedding ceremonies in the charming Waterside Chapel evoke the essence of the Old South. 

Coming Soon: Advice on Selecting a Destination Wedding Location

I'm working on a great post full of expert advice for selecting a destination wedding location. If you're thinking about planning a destination wedding, you won't want to miss it! Check back next week! Photo of rehearsal dinner at Hotel Hana Maui.

Words of Wisdom: Thoughts on Videography

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a sucker for a good wedding video. I love seeing the highlights of the big day captured beautifully on film and woven seamlessly together to make a story that is so touching and so unique to each couple. Film is a wonderful addition to your wedding memories and I highly recommend incorporating it if your budget allows.

That said, it can be quite overwhelming to have a flurry of cameras around you on your wedding day. So I've compiled some suggestions to avoid making your wedding into a circus of photographers and film crew!

The video above is a preview of Nikki + Chad's Palm Beach Wedding that I will share with you next week. If you missed their welcome party, check it out here. Video by my new favorite videographer, the lovely Gina of LOLA Video. Be sure to check out her blog for Sarah + Graham's amazing video too!

* I believe the photographer should have priority over the videographer on the wedding day. Nothing ruins the perfect shot like a cameraman dodging in front of the lens. To make sure the photographer has the priority on the wedding day, be sure that it is written into the contract that the film crew should not be in front of the photographer's camera at anytime unless worked out ahead of time. I especially feel this is very important during the ceremony!

* Make sure the videographer moves around as little as possible during the ceremony. I usually allow one stationary camera off to the side of the altar (with no cameraman). This ensures you'll get the angle, but will keep all eyes on the soon-to-be-married couple and not the cameraman.

* Videographers should never interview guests or ask them to "Say a few words about the couple" into the camera. Nothing is more awkward for guests than to be interviewed on the spot (on film no less)! They should always accommodate requests for guests who ask to say a few words, but never impose.

* If you are like me and don't want to ruin the beautiful atmosphere that was created for the event, you need to make sure they do not use any light except during the cake cutting, first dance, or toasts (if it is dark). Having the camera light on during those key moments is actually a plus because it adds a follow spot on the bride and groom. Going without lighting may jeopardize quality a tad, but it will help your event feel more personal and intimate by not drawing attention to the cameras that are around.

* While I love "getting ready" shots, I think it is best to keep the photos and filming on the shorter side as that is a really critical time for keeping the day on schedule and too many cameras can create a bit of chaos.

* Videographers and photographers should keep their camera bags in a hidden, yet accessible spot at all times. Camera bags are not part of the event decor!

* A lot of my brides ask me which type of film to go with - HD vs. Super 8 vs. 16MM vs. Digital Video. There really are so many great choices! I really love the combo of Super 8 film and digital video. Super 8 reminds me of my dad's movies of us as kids. He would take his little camera with him on all vacations and film everything. And while I love the nostalgic look of Super 8, the one drawback is that there is no sound. In order to capture the sound during toasts, first dance, ceremony you need to also have a digital video camera. The end result is great (the video above of Nikki and Chad incorporates both Super 8 and digital). Of course, 16mm is spectacular and doesn't have the sound drawback of Super 8, but it can be much more expensive. For weddings, I really don't recommend HD video as realistic and crisp as the picture can be. It can be really unflattering and that is not how you would want to remember your wedding day!

Words of Wisdom: Wedding Travel

Even if you are not planning a destination wedding, there are lots of travel aspects involved in planning a wedding. Booking accommodations for out of town guests and plotting the details of your honeymoon can leave you feeling like a travel agent instead of a bride. I've compiled a few tips and resources to help you through...

* I recently discovered Tablet Hotels - a great resource for booking boutique and luxury hotels. Tablet selects their favorite hotels worldwide (in every price range) and lets you book online at great prices. Become a Tablet Member for a small annual fee and enjoy perks like free upgrades, late check-out, spa certificates, and more. I like to think it's a much chicer version of Expedia and Orbtiz. If you are unfamiliar with your wedding destination and need to book accommodations for your guests, be sure to check out Tablet for great hotel ideas that are under the radar.

* I recommend reserving room blocks at a few hotels if you have a lot of guests who are flying in from out of town. Be sure to select a hotel for every price point (under $200, $200-400, $400+) so that guests will have an option to fit their budget. Look for hotels that will accommodate a "social room block" which lets you hold the rooms without a deposit or guarantee. Be sure to figure out how many guests will be looking for accommodations and block accordingly. If there was a 200 person wedding with 100 guests needing hotels, I would block 30-40 rooms. Many hotels will offer room rates lower than their published rates for room blocks. Be sure to mention that you have reserved rooms at these hotels on your save the date so your guests can book easily.

* I advise all of my clients to leave for their honeymoon a few days after the wedding instead of immediately after. Those few extra days give you time to breathe and relive the memories of the day instead of worrying about catching a flight and packing a suitcase.

* If you aren't able to jet off on your honeymoon right away, take a mini-moon after the wedding. You'll be able to savor the feeling of being a newlywed without taking lots of time off from work.

* If you want an amazing honeymoon without lifting a finger, I suggest you check out Jet Set Travel. They handle every aspect of your honeymoon - from booking the plane tickets and hotels to reservations at insider only restaurants. They'll even handle your spa treatments and tee times. Jet Set has the "in" on more exotic honeymoon destinations like Africa and India, so be sure to check them out if you are planning more than your standard resort trip to Hawaii.

* Resort honeymoon more your speed? Tahiti may be the place you've been looking for. If you go, check out True Tahiti Vacations and let Laurel handle the details. Laurel is a California native and knows the ins and outs of Tahiti better than most locals. Having an expert in Tahiti is a must since travel between islands is a little tricky.

Words of Wisdom: Bridal Beauty

I know there are millions of articles out there on bridal beauty. The book has been written on everything from fitness boot camps to skin care regimens. However, I wanted to share my tips on bridal beauty since they're short and sweet. Trust me, it doesn't require a year of foresight to be a beautiful, radiant bride!

* Remember to use sunscreen and watch out for tan lines. You want the focus to be on you and your gorgeous dress, not the lingering lines of your favorite bikini.

* Always bring a change of shoes so your feet will be happy, even through hours of dancing. I love a pair of simple ballet flats for an alternate.

* Speaking of shoes, be sure to wear your wedding shoes in advance (inside) to break them in. You want to scuff up the bottoms before the wedding day so you won't slip!

* Be sure the person doing your hair on the wedding day is experienced with veils. If you are getting married outdoors or taking photographs outdoors, the wind could be a factor. Be prepared: have 2 large bobby pins on hand and anchor down the comb that is holding the veil in both directions. This will ensure your veil will stay in place.

* Always bring a someone who you can depend on to the final gown fitting. You will need someone to bustle your gown (usually at the end of the cocktail hour, just after photos). If you have hired a full service planner, many will be happy to attend your fitting and bustle your gown.

Words of Wisdom: Wedding Etiquette

Over the past 15 years, I have found myself sharing the same etiquette tidbits with many couples. So, for the sake of not sounding like a broken record, I thought I would compile a few and share them. I know some people find etiquette stuffy and outdated, but I think being appropriate never goes out of style.

Wedding Etiquette 101

* When someone is toasting you, you should not drink at the conclusion of the toast. Just smile and say "thank you". Also, if most of the group cannot see you during the toast it is always appropriate to stand up.

* Never include your name on the back flap of an invitation envelope. It is for your address only.

* Never use your joint monogram or joint "thank you" notes before the wedding. Save it for the menu cards and escort cards at the wedding reception.

* You should not list where you are registered on any printed material. Instead, spread the word on your wedding website or let your friends and family handle it!

* If you invite someone to your engagement party, they must be invited to the wedding. Be sure to consider this when compiling the guest list for your engagement party!

* It is not necessary to include "and guest" when inviting a single. But, it is always thoughtful if your budget or venue permit! If the person is engaged, you must include the significant other by name on the invite.

Words of Wisdom: Luxury for Less

I am all about quality over quantity. I believe this simple principle can save you bundles when applied to planning your wedding. While I am not a budget wedding planner per se, I do know a couple tricks that will get you a luxury wedding for less.

Luxury for Less

* You don’t have to have a 300 people in order to have a smashing wedding. Trim down the guest list to only the most important friends and family.

* Pick a venue that owns nice quality chairs, linens and tabletop items such as glassware, china and flatware. You’ll save on renting these pieces, which can really add up.

* Consider having live music only for your ceremony, cocktails and dinner. For dancing, you can switch to a well-respected DJ. You’ll save on the costs of having a 5+ piece band and also most likely reduce overtime fees if your guests want to keep the party going. If you do hire a DJ, make sure they understand it is a wedding, not a concert that requires emceeing.

* If your printed materials budget is tight, consider getting your save the date or menu cards printed by an offset printer/graphic designer. I love going to Jill Poole at PS Paper when I want something beautiful for a reasonable price. Jill can make sure all of your printed materials complement each other and your theme. Another bonus? There is usually a shorter turnaround time on offset pieces than traditional letterpress or engraving. I would splurge a little bit on the wedding invite itself and print that in letterpress or engraving.

* Book an all digital photographer. Their prices are typically lower in cost because they don't have to pay for the costly film and developing. While I still love the look of film, digital photography is a beautiful option. One talented photographer going all digital is Anna Kuperberg.

* If guests’ travel budget is a concern, hold your wedding in a big city. Cities like San Francisco, Chicago, and New York offer great hotel rates for weekend guests and rarely require minimum stays, as is often the case in the Napa Valley. Big cities are also easy to reach with multiple airlines flying to and from the location. Plus, guests won’t need to rent their own transportation.


My Favorite Ideas

* Up to 80 Guests- Have your ceremony at the Carneros Inn Apple Orchard. (See Juliet and Gregor’s wedding below). The picture perfect Hilltop Room would be a perfect place for a reception. You can do dancing inside and have dinner under the stars. If your guest list is small enough, you could have both dinner and dancing in the Hilltop room. Perks include: simple elegant china, glassware, chairs and linens included; beautiful lighting; roaring outdoor fireplaces; unbeatable vineyard views; a built in bar; delicious food; parking is a breeze with the hotel valet.

Hilltop Room at the Carneros Inn. Image Courtesy of The Carneros Inn.

* Up to 80 Guests – Have your wedding ceremony and reception at the Calistoga Ranch. They have the beautiful lawn area for the ceremony so you don't have to do much. Dine and dance with your friends in their amazing wine cave. You can dance until 1AM because it is sound proof to the rest of the property. Perks include: a five star staff and guest experience; quality chairs, linens, and tabletop items; a rustic, yet elegant wine country experience.

The Calistoga Ranch. Photo courtesy of The Calistoga Ranch.

* +/-100 Guests – Host your wedding reception at Spruce restaurant in San Francisco. You’ll need to rent out the restaurant for the evening and have your ceremony at a local church or location nearby. Spruce is a foodie couple’s dream –the food and wine are phenomenal. If you want to include room for dancing your guest count will need to be under 70. Perks include: beautiful chic environment including mohair padded walls, excellent service; built in lighting; great glassware, china, and flatware; wonderful food and built in bar area.

Winter wedding at Spruce. Photography by Thayer Allyson Gowdy.

Words of Wisdom: Selecting a Color Palate

A well thought out color scheme can really help unify a wedding from the beginning to end. Each and every detail should be a seamless part of the bigger picture. You want your save the dates and invitations to tie into your to the table linens and flowers. I've seen my share of brides get carried away in the excitement of the wedding that they rush into picking a save the date without considering the next steps. (Hey- it is a wedding after all - being excited is 100% natural!) Here's my advice: after you have selected your location and are ready to prepare your save the date, you should decide on a color palate. These colors will be incorporated into the graphic design, attire, flowers, and event décor.

Some questions to consider when picking a color scheme:

* What do the settings look like and what colors will compliment that setting?

* What are colors that you and your fiance love?

* What season are you getting married in?

* Which flowers do you love and are they in season during the time of your wedding? Choosing seasonal flowers will help reduce your floral budget since you won't have to pay for the pricey shipment. Also be sure that the flowers you love are available in the colors you love.

Check out some of the weddings on my blog: Carrie and Jeff picked orange and pink with accents of fresh green. Those colors worked great with the ballroom carpet and walls at the Four Seasons. For their save the date, we used a beautiful white cotton paper with peach accents and chocolate brown ink. The brown worked well with the peach and coral tones Carrie loves and brought a bit of elegance to the design.

For Juliet and Gregor's wedding, Juliet really wanted to incorporate a deep purple fig color. It was seamless. Fig is a dark, dressy color and works great in the wine country - echoing the colors of the surrounding vineyards. Juliet's bridesmaids donned fig colored dresses by Vera Wang. We brought in white flowers with the deep purple accents to keep it from feeling heavy. Clematis was a perfect fit: it is a loose bohemian feeling flower that Juliet loved. We worked with the fresh white walls of the event space and extended it with the white chairs, linens and white drape we added behind the band.

I'm always looking for new inspiration. Here are some color palates I am loving right now:

Gray and turquoise are a perfect match

Red looks so fresh with a vibrant violet

Navy and mustard yellow are a classic, yet modern combination